eternal love

the world lost a really great person last saturday.  over the years i have posted a lot about the love that i have for paul walker (you can read those posts here if you want).  i have just always been so attracted to him because, i mean, look at him.  he's perfection.  but it wasn't only about his incredible good looks. he has just always seemed like such a nice, down to earth, humble guy and i really admire that about him.  he was beautiful inside and out.

i might (/definitely do) have a couple pictures of paul at my desk at work so most of my co-workers know about my love for him. the monday before thanksgiving (5 days before he passed away) my co-worker had people around the office write down what they were thankful for and then she took a picture of us with it and posted it on the ultradent blog.  if you can find me in there you will see that i said i was thankful for paul walker, which i genuinely am. well today they made a card with a photoshopped picture of paul and me and then had everyone sign it.  see picture below.

when they gave it to me, i just thought "this is awesome, we look so good together! i knew it!"  i didn't realize it was a card so when they told me to open it and i saw that all my co-workers had signed it, i started to sob.  like crying so hard with tears running down my face in front of my co-workers. i could still cry right now thinking about it.  but isn't that just the nicest and funniest thing ever?  it just melted my heart.

i know it's silly that i have this crush and that he means so much to me but i have had countless people tell me how sorry they are for my loss.  i know that it is partially to joke with me but i still really have felt loved nonetheless.  i just feel really lucky to have so many friends and people that care about me. so thank you for your condolences, they mean a lot to me. it takes away a little bit of the sting of losing the love of my life.  

well paul, as much as i don't want to believe it, i guess this is goodbye for now. just know that you will always have my heart and i will love you forever.

love always,

paige

love notes

so i watched this video at work the other day (don't tell anyone that i surf the internet or blog while i'm at work like i'm doing right now...) and i may have gotten a little teary-eyed. or had tears streaming down my face while sitting in my cubicle hoping that no one would walk by..... ?

but you should watch this precious little video. such a touching story from elder scott.

on pudge's mind

so i don't usually post these kinds of things on this blog because i like to keep it pretty light and fun but i just think i am going to post this anyway. because guess what. this is my blog and i can do whatever the h i want.

i heard these quotes recently and i think they really put things into perspective. this life is hard and sometimes you forget how it all works. i'm grateful for quotes like these to help me remember.

"many of us fall into this trap - judging our individual worth by comparing ourselves to others. this view of worth results in one of two serious mistakes: either we imagine ourselves better than we are because we think we excel where others fail; or we are too hard on ourselves, thinking we do not measure up to others. faced with these misperceptions, we may settle into a false sense of self satisfaction, or strain to match the accomplishments of those we believe are ahead of us, or give up all together. our vision is clouded when we forget we are not in competition. as children of our Father in Heaven, we are already unique and valuable, beyond anything we can achieve in this world." -john c. taggart (all things in wisdom and order, aug. 2010 ensign)

"though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for you. you are not alone." -dieter f. uchtdorf (your happily ever after, may 2010 ensign)

life is good

do you feel like in your early twenties you are constantly changing, growing, and just kind of figuring it all out? i definitely feel that way. it's just like, "really? do i really have that much more to learn and experience?" that sounds so naive, but sometimes i really do feel that way. i am just going through experience and trial after experience and trial, which we all go through during our entire lives on this earth, but i really just feel like it is intensified in your twenties, but it is just the beginning.

every few months or so i figure something out/come out of a trial/get over it and reflect on how different i am now compared to what i was before. i am kind of doing that right now. i recently found clarity to an issue that has kind of been consuming my life for the past while and i really couldn't feel better. i just feel invincible, i know that feeling will change quickly, but i want to enjoy it while i can. i have learned so much this past week and it has been right in front of me for months, but i guess i just wasn't ready. after finding this clarity, i have a more clear picture of the person that i am and what i want in this life. even though things don't go the way i imagine, i know that it is the best thing for me. i know that God knows me, i can see His hand in my life and i know that He has a plan for me. regardless of what i envision for my life, God's vision is going to win, so i might as well stop fighting it and just accept it. this has really been an awesome week, i am so happy about life right now.

this is the greatest song ever. it will change your life. dustin o'halloran's music is beautiful and so is he.